Sunday, February 10, 2008

Rarely have we seen a person fail

"Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest." ~ How It Works

There was a young man in my home group the other night who has been in and out five times. Another young girl said she can't seem to get out of the cycle, that she keeps coming through the revolving door of AA.

The truth is though, that there is no revolving door of AA. It doesn't exist. What does exist, and what they are actually spinning, is the barrel of a gun, a gun with one bullet that they continue to play Russian Roulette with. There is no guarantee when you go back out that you will be able to get back in. I am blessed to be a first-timer. Earlier in my recovery when I heard people talk about going out and coming back, I would wonder what that was like, and my crazy brain would wonder if I could pull it off. But I know now that I never want to do that, that there isn't enough alcohol to satisfy me anyway, and it would never be as good as I imagine it to be.

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