Overheard

TC's godmother is a florist, and I was saying something to Tom about it being Prom season. TC then asked, "Is  that like Prom Sunday?"

Tom: Look, a jet-ski, I've never had one of those.
Me: You've never had a second wife either.


TC: Mom, when I grow up I'll be like this.
Me: What, shirtless?
TC: No, I will own some shirts but not wear them all the time. To be cool. And I'll have a Tron suit.

Overheard

TC: Mom, me and *playdate friend* talked so much that my head is gonna splode. (He was happy about this.)

Me: E, you need to get ready for bed.
E: Sorry Mom, I was having a long prayer time with Amy. (the hamster)

TC: Know what I'm going to be when I grow up?
Me: What?
TC: Rich. Because I'll have an electric money machine to make money in my museum.

Overheard

Clerk at Dollar Store: That'll be $17.96.
Woman Ahead of Me in Line at Dollar Store: Oh, look at this brush here. I think I want this brush too. I need a new brush. How much is it?
Insanely Patient Clerk at Dollar Store: It's one dollar.
Woman Ahead of Me in Line at Dollar Store Who Has No Awareness of the Six People in Line Behind Her: Yeah, I want to get this brush too. I like it.


TC is trudging across the living room.
Me: You okay, buddy?
TC: My eyes can't see becepts forwards.

He then laid down on the couch, pulling a quilt over himself, and was literally asleep thirty seconds later. Tom just got home and told me that when he was leaving for work (at 4am) the boys were wide awake and playing in their room. Apparently the time change has screwed them up a bit!

Overheard

TC: I wish I was older, like 9 like E.
Me: I don't, buddy, I like that you're still my little guy.
TC: (Offering me a hug) Don't worry, Mom, I'll still love you when I'm big.

Television show: Will you come with us and save the day?
E, dryly: Don't have much choice.

Overheard

TC: I wish I could run on water.
Me: Oh, like Jesus?
TC: No, like Sonic. (The Hedgehog. Sigh.)

TC: Mom, this is so good I can't even stand it. (On eating Caramelized French Toast stuffed with apples!)

TC: When I have a home, I'm going to have a man cave. (We may need to stop letting him watch all those HGTV shows with us....)

Overheard

TC: Can I have a peanut butter spoonful?
Me: Not right now buddy.
TC: But it's not even raining.

Me: You're my favorite redhead, buddy.
TC: You're my favorite bluehead, mom.

Overheard

TC: I want to play Epic Failure of the Races
Me: I don't think we have that game.
TC: It's also called Mario Kart.


TC: Mom, when I grow up I want to be a scientist of worms and live with you.


TC: Look, a squirrel!
Me: Yep
TC: He's looking for a mate so he can lay babies.

Overheard

Me: You need to go up to your room because you're being disobedient.
TC: *Sulks and begins trudging towards the stairs.*
Me, quietly to Tom: This is why he still needs to take naps, because he's being a toad.
TC, loudly down the stairs: Do you know that I heard you?!

Me: Please don't give the dog noogies.
TC: But they're funny. And they're good for her.

Overheard, or How I Lost My Mind

TC: Can I play the Wii?
Me: No
TC, 90 seconds later: Mom, can I play the Wii?
Me: No
TC, 12 seconds later: Mom, can I play the Wii?
Me: TC, I've already answered you.
TC: What was the question?

Overheard

TC: "Mom, I want to watch Diego Diego Go Go!"

Me: TC, I told you not to jump on the couch.
TC: That's not jumping, that's hopping!

Overheard

We have a LOT of road construction going on around our town lately. Yesterday I was nearly stuck on how to get back home, with one road being closed and another being a traffic jam.  As I muttered to myself in the car about how in the world we were going to get home from WalMart, A quietly said, "We could apparate."

At a diner for dinner with the family.  E ordered lemonade but the woman brought root beer by mistake
Me: E, do you want to have root beer instead?
E: Mom, I can't drink root beer! It has alcohol in it!

Overheard

TC: Look, Mom! I got a new silly band!
Me: Excellent, I look forward to vacuuming it up.

E: Mom, I can speak Australian.
Me: Oh yeah?
E: Yeah. G-day mate! Throw anothah ship on the bobby!

Overheard

TC: I'm a scientist of worms.
Me: Great. Now be a scientist of your lunch please.
TC: I am, I already activated it.


TC, talking about his big brother: E is my funky junk brother.

Overheard

Me: "You boys keep my life interesting."
TC:  "A doesn't. She listens to you."

I see TC walking past me with his toy sword and Nerf gun, and he says "I'm going to do ultimate battle with the cat."

E: ‎"Mom, we're learning about persuasive writing. So I'm writing about wanting a hamster."

Overheard

A: "Ouch, I hurt my butt-bone."
Me: "It's called your tailbone."
E: "Um, Mom? She doesn't have a tail."

Me: "Let's go to the car to get our snack and water, buddy."
TC: "I can wait for you by the water."
Me: "I can't do that buddy, it's not safe. You need to come with me."
TC: "Ok. Because if I was there by myself a shark could come up and eat me. That would be scary."
(Convo by the creek at a park.)

Overheard

After touching up my blue recently, my daughter said, "Oh cool, did you add silver?"
"No, that's grey."
"Ohh. Sorry."

"How did you know the bomb was in there?!" ~ 4 year old TC
"Mad skills, my friend, mad skills." ~ almost 9 year old E

"MOM!  You scared the jiffies out of me!" ~ E, when I poked my head in the door to say something to him while he was showering. He didn't hear the door and didn't expect my voice. No clue where he got "jiffies" from, but it really killed me.

Overheard

"Mom told me that Transformers aren't real. They're side effects." ~ E.

"Mom, do you want a coconut made of poop?" ~ TC

On Sunday we were supposed to host a Super Bowl party for our small group, but E got sick and the party was moved elsewhere. Since Tom is away for work, none of us went to the party. I had cooked up two pounds of bacon to cover in chocolate for our new favorite party food.  I mentioned to A that I needed to get it into the freezer so I wouldn't keep snacking on the bacon.  She said, "Don't do that, you should give it to the homely."

Overheard

"Every day is an anniversary and every meal is a banquet." ~ a very grateful alcoholic in a meeting

TC ~ "Mom, do you know what goes with New York City?"
Me ~ "Ummm. No."
TC ~ "California. And when you mix them together you get Afoonia."
Me ~ "Afoonia?"
TC ~ "Yes. That's where we play soccer."

Overheard

TC ~ "Mom, do you know what this do-es? (pointing at the breadmaker) You put anything in there and it turns it into bread."
Me ~ "Really?"
TC ~ "Yes, except-es cars and houses."

Tom ~ "I left my keys in my truck." (He drives a Honda mini-van.)
Me ~ "Do you call it a truck to make yourself feel better?"
Tom ~ "You have no idea.  It's like putting on a dress every day."
(Before you feel too sorry for him, let me add that his work truck is a Ford F750 that eclipses everything else on the road.)

Overheard

"God didn't bless America so we could live comfortable, extravagent lives."
This morning, (paraphrased)  Pastor Bob reading from a book on missions.

"If we took, "Do not fear," as a mandate from God, and not just a suggestion, today would be very different."
Jon Acuff, Stuff Christians Like

You can't be old and wise if you aren't young and crazy. ~ Facebook quote going around.