A blog about a blog

Have you heard of Study With Friends? It's a great ministry with free resources, such as printables for Bible studies, along with podcasts you can learn so much from. I've been downloading the various series to listen to on my walks and I can't get enough of them.  So imagine the giant stroke to my ego honor that it was when I was invited to join the team by writing for their blog. Cool, right? (There's no punchline, it really is cool.) Hope you like it!

Study With Friends: Full Armor

They put up a fancy little blurb about me with a nice picture on their Meet the Friends page. I wanted to use this picture but they picked the other one for some reason. #doctrinaldifferences

Yes, that's the book for meeee.....

I'm sitting there yesterday morning, so pleased with myself that I have been keeping up with reading my bible every day. And I turn to the day's reading, on a sunny Sunday morning while I sip my hot coffee and feel virtuous. And the reading is Genesis 34. You know, where Shechem rapes Dinah and her brothers get revenge by tricking Shechem into having himself and all of his men circumcised so the brothers can then attack and kill them all while they are weak in order to win back their sister's honor.

So glad I'm starting my day with the precious Word. I can't wait until I get to all of the blood & goats of Leviticus. :P

What He wants you to know

I found this on a tumblr full of inspirational scripture pictures. I don't endorse that site simply because they repeatedly post Joel Osteen video clips and the man is a heretic. That said, I really love this list.

Here’s what Jesus wants you to know:

1. You are my beloved. (Eph. 5:1)
2. I knew you before you were born. As my hands formed you, I whispered purpose into your bones. I can’t not love you. (Ps. 139:1-6)
3. I love you beyond human reason—even at your very worst, steeped in sin. (Rom. 5:8)
4. My love is contrary to all you know of “love.” I Love you “even though” and “deeper still.” My love reaches, pursues, remains. (Ps. 36:5)
5. My Love for you won’t walk out, fail, or ever come to an end. (Deut. 31:8)
6. No matter what you’ve heard or what you’ve come to believe, there’s nothing that can separate you from my Love. (Rom. 8:38-39)
7. I am not like people. So please—don’t put human words in my mouth or apply human behaviors to my character. You will miss me altogether. (Isaiah 55:8)
8. I’ve never ignored you. I’ve been here all along. Protecting. Loving. Waiting. (Ps. 56:8)
9. Your love of _____ (sin) isn’t worth eternity. I will break your chains. I will give you the desires of your heart. (Jn. 8:32, Ps. 37:4)
10. Please forgive some of my followers. People—even Christian people—will fail you. You live in a fallen land, where no one is perfect and all need My grace. Put your faith and trust in Me alone. (Psalm 146:3)
11. There’s no sin I will not forgive. You are the “whosoever believes in me” whom I will give eternal life … if you believe. (John 3:16)
12. As resourceful and brilliant as you are, you cannot save yourself. It’s by God’s grace and faith in Me alone that you are saved. (Eph 2:8-9)
13. I understand your pain and heartbreak. And my heart breaks with you. (Is. 53:3)
14. There’s nowhere you can go where my Love won’t find you. (Psalm 139:7-8)
15. The shame and guilt weighs you down has been taken care of on the cross. Your bill has been zeroed out. (John 3:16)
16. The addictions. The pride. The selfishness. The hate. The lust. The jealousy. The critical spirit. The greed. I can heal it. All of it. You can start fresh. Today. (Rom. 8:1-4)
17. I will forgive you. But only if you ask. And I care more about the “ask” than I do about the sin. (Acts 3:19)
18. I will not force you to do or be anything. I want a relationship with you more than I want to rule over you. (Jeremiah 31:3)
19. I will forgive your sin and I will forget it. That’s right—completely erase it from my mind. No replays, no record. Gone. (Ps. 103:12)
20. It’s never too late to turn your life around. I came to give second chances. (Luke 23:42-43)
21. I love you. Let’s talk. (Jer. 29:13)

My One Word 2012

It's New Year's Resolution time for a lot of us. I did My One Word last year, and am doing it again for 2012. I think 'Reckless Abandon' worked well for me, even if it didn't accomplish what I thought it would. I chose it believing it would help me to lay aside fears I had about writing, losing weight & witnessing about my faith in Jesus. It did work for the latter two, but not the first. I made the decision to lay aside the writing dream for now. The harder I tried to pursue it with reckless abandon, the more I found I didn't want to do it, didn't have time to do it and just was not ready. I hope I can come back to it in a few years, but we'll see what God has planned.
Theresa told me that her One Word for last year was 'rest', from Matthew 11:28-30. I am praying about what my Word should be this year, but I'm already feeling like God is directing me towards something similar. Time and again I find myself praying in the foxhole, but neglecting that daily quiet time. I've been looking for a verse today and found this article on doing quiet time. I like the acronym of 'ASPECT' and how you can use that as a tool for bible study. I'll post again later when I have my One Word.

A – About God – What can you learn about God through this passage?

S – Sin – Does it talk about any sin?

P – Promise – Is there any promise in the word?

E – Example – Is there any example, I can follow?

C –Command – Which command I need to obey?

T – Teaching – What can I learn from this passage?

Psalm 91

I couldn't sleep last night. I've been struggling with some anxiety since the near-miss last week. Anxiety has really never been an issue for me before, and I hate it. I'm finding it hard to drive in traffic, which is unavoidable with the high level of road construction in our area right now. Tom has his work truck this week and we had to go pick up his car from the parking lot at work last night. On the way home I found myself clenching the steering wheel, feeling very afraid. Traffic was really heavy, it was dark, it was raining. It was like the emotional trifecta for me, ughh. Laying in bed later, I kept thinking of how ridiculous this fear was, but I couldn't shake it.

I got out of bed and went to get a book from my office, figuring I would read for a bit and try to settle my mind. I noticed the Shorthand books on the shelf. They belonged to my Gram, and I took them when we emptied her house before she went in the nursing home. I thought it would be fun to have them and maybe pick up a few ideas. I had never actually opened them past the first few pages, so I had no idea that they were workbooks, or that she had written in them.

There was something very comforting about seeing her handwriting in that watery blue ink. I looked at the date, and realized that she took this class two years after my grandfather died at the age of 43. She wasn't much older than me. I flipped through all three books and found that she had not only completed them, but tucked in the pages was an envelope containing her certificate of completion. I know Gram worked at a flower shop, but I never knew that she did this, or even how she went on to use it. I'll have to ask my Mom. It's just funny how God would show me these books now, when I am anxious about many things, one of which is the decision to go back to work after a decade at home. I felt so comforted knowing that my decision isn't based on what hers was. I was reminded of what it was like for her, and how hard it must have been.

I put the books back on the shelf, and noticed a tattered bible next to them. It's one that was given to their church in honor of my grandfather, and has his name in the front. Old books are like a blankey for me; I love to hold them and smell them. (The church later closed, and they got this copy.) I took it back to bed with me, and opened to Psalm 91, my favorite. The bible wasn't labeled but I knew immediately that it was the King James. I hardly ever read in that version, but for some reason the old beauty of those words moved me like I had never read this passage before. 

He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust. Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence. He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler. Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day; Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday. A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee. Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked. Because thou hast made the LORD, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation; There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling. For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways. They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone. Thou shalt tread upon the lion and adder: the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet. Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name. He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him. With long life will I satisfy him, and shew him my salvation.

I cried. God is so good; He is such a comfort. He knows. He just knows. And that was what I needed.

Potty Mouths

Aimee shared this blog with me on Facebook, Jamie the Very Worst Missionary.  This particular post was about her frequent use of language that seems to offend other people.

This may surprise you, but I was never given a list of God approved words. And I can’t imagine what would happen should such a list ever present itself. I know people who would keel over dead if “fart” was on the approved list, or “shut up”. And I know people who would straight up burn the list if came from Costa Rica where "b*tch" is part of common language that 4 year-olds use.

I really enjoyed her honesty.  Is she wrong?  I don't know.  As I've said before, I do tend to be a bit sweary at times.  I have tried over the years to cut back on it, as I'm aware that it's a dirty habit and my mother doesn't approve. In the grand scheme of things I have figured, be it right or wrong, that I have given up oodles of bad habits and I'd really like to keep this one.  I don't use God's name in vain.  I don't curse in front of children or my mother, nor do I curse other people out. But when I get mad I mutter & swear.  I don't know if the words I choose would be considered shocking or offensive to others.  I think it's like Jamie said, and that it would only offend certain people who have a different measuring tool than mine.

Cursing, Swearing & Vulgarity  This article had a lot of good stuff in it and I love a good topical Bible study.  It goes in depth and examines four categories of bad language.  I found it an interesting study, but they lost me a tad in the Slang & Euphemisms section.  I personally don't think that substitute words are a big deal.  Snap, frack, poo, gosh.... I just don't think these are a problem, even if they originally represented something else.

But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth. (Colossians 3:8)  I find myself, having re-read this verse several times, wondering if this is something subjective, such as dancing.  Some church folk believe that all dancing is sinful, while others dance at every social event.  Yet David danced before the Lord, celebrating his love for the Lord in a joyful display with his body.

I wonder if cursing is something that can be a stumbling block for some and not others.  I don't have any solid answers on this; it's just something I'm pondering.  I do want to be pleasing to God.  It bothers me when I hear people cursing in casual conversation for no purpose.  It makes them sound common and unintelligent, which is a shame.  But I'm also not interested in condemning them for this.  I think too often Christians get tangled up in how unbelievers are sinning, and forget that we all need the same Grace.  We need to meet people where they are.  I once heard a newly sober young man share in a meeting about what it was like to read the Bible.  He was in awe of God's word, and said, "This sh*t is amazing!"  He meant no disrespect, and was expressing joy at having been saved by God from his addiction. It was honest & beautiful.

Here endeth my random thoughts on this topic.  Oh, and I added the asterisks out of respect for those who would rather not see the actual words. ;)

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

I'm feeling human these days, not quite great, but not so bad. I don't think this prescription will be my final option, but we shall see.

So a few weeks ago I went on the women's retreat. It was good, bad and interesting. God definitely wanted me there, but it was very difficult for me. I had to deal with a lot of emotional junk that I have been carrying around for a long time, including my issues with abandonment and feeling invisible. I'm new to this church, so I only knew a few people, which made it difficult for me. But in the end, I'm so glad I went, and I made some new friends along the way.

The speaker for the weekend taught on the story of Isaac and Rebekah. The teaching was good, and she also gave her testimony. Her husband had a heart attack eight years ago, and suffered brain damage because of it. He is now like a seven year old child, and she is his caregiver. What strength this woman must daily require from God to get through that.

On Saturday evening I was chatting with one of the ladies that I know from my Bible study. We got on the subject of my grandmother, and I shared about my struggle with being angry at God about her. The unfairness of being widowed so young, raising her children alone, and then being widowed again when she finally got remarried, and ending up alone in a nursing home with Alzheimer’s Disease…. It’s just more than I can stand, and I cry about her fairly often. (though some of that is my depression I’m sure) My friend had some good perspective and was really a comfort to me about it. She pointed out that at least my Gram had those 3 years with my step-grandfather, and that it could have been worse; he could have ended up like the speaker’s husband who is endlessly trapped in the mind of a child. I knew she had a good point.

At the last session on Sunday morning the speaker was talking about how she had been talking to a group of women about God’s will, and how we must be willing to give Him everything. She said she didn’t really know what that was though. The next day, standing by her husband’s hospital bed, she knew: this was her everything. I cried when she said that, and it was like a light bulb went off. If Gram had known where her life would take her, if God had come to her at the beginning and said, “Marcia, will you do this for Me? Will you give me everything?”….. she would have said yes. My Gram loves Jesus, and she would have said yes. This realization gave me a peace after all these years of being angry at God for letting her get sick. My anger at the unfairness began to melt, and is pretty nearly gone. I have acceptance and peace now. I know I will have to work at keeping that, because surely the devil won’t want me to stay that way. But for now, I am at peace about it.

Church of Oprah

About two months ago my friend Trish blogged a bit about the silliness that has been going on with Oprah Winfrey. I guess I shouldn't call it silliness, it's actually quite serious how she is misleading people. Oprah has long bugged me with her new age take on religion, while she claimed to be some kind of Christian, or at least a believer in Jesus. One of her main issues that came up in that YouTube video is her being turned off by the scripture that says that God is a jealous God.

Spend a few minutes and read this article written by a Baptist minister that clarifies the jealousy issue. As he says in the article, "There are simply no substitutes for truth, and God is Truth." It truly saddens me to think how Oprah has missed the mark by such a measurable distance, and her fans may so easily be taken in by these falsehoods.

Peter's Sin

The sermon this morning was very interesting....

Pastor talked about Peter, and his very public & vehement denial of Christ. We know the story, he cursed and swore that he did not know the man, and then realized as the cock crowed what he had done and was heartbroken over it. The sermon focused on the three things that Peter did that we must do when we feel guilt & shame over our sin.

1. Peter stayed in the fellowship. When we see our sin and those we hurt, we just want to go away and hide, away from those who remember. Judas made that choice. He left before the last supper was even finished, under the pretense to go buy bread. But they all knew why he left, and we certainly don't read that they waited around for him to get back before they went to the Garden of Gesthemane. He walked out into the night alone. They didn't care that he was going because he'd been stealing from them all along. He handled his guilt and shame alone, trying to give back the money and ultimately killing himself. But Peter not only went back to the fellowship, he confessed his sin and was welcomed back. That brings us to the second thing...

2. Peter confessed what he had done. Mark's gospel was the first one written. He wrote down what Peter preached, which means that Peter told the story of his own sin. Mark's is the only account that mentions that Peter not only denied Christ, but that he swore (like a fisherman!) when he did so. We don't read that people remembered his sin - oh no, cover your ears, it's that cursing fisherman Peter! They didn't bring it up, Peter did.

3. He believed that his sin was forgiven by the death of Jesus on the cross. He was handpicked by Jesus and spent three years with Him. He knew the Truth.

When we feel guilt over our past sins, it is sometimes because God is warning us not to fall into that sin again. The Holy Spirit convicts us and makes us uncomfortable for that reason. In the end though, we must accept our forgiveness.

What a great sermon about moving past our own guilt, and living the life He has meant us to live!

Nehemiah

Ooooo, I so love when the sermon is written for me! Ok, so maybe that's a bit narcissistic, as I'm sure that many people in church today were able to apply the sermon to their own lives too, but I have no doubt that God was speaking to me very clearly.

Our Pastor was talking about Nehemiah, and how he hears that the wall of Jerusalem has been broken down, and the gates burned. Nehemiah is heartbroken and leaving his entire life behind, he goes to Jerusalem to rebuild the wall. He had a job of esteem as the king's cupbearer, and all the accoutrements, and he simply left, knowing that he had to do something to restore what had been lost in his home town. He encountered ridicule and obstacles, people who didn't understand why this man from another land had come to do this, and enemies who did not want to see Jerusalem restored.

Pastor said that Nehemiah did three things that we need to remember, and follow his lead.
First, he stepped out of his comfort zone. He had a good and safe life, but after fasting and prayer, he left it to do what no one else was willing to do.

Second, He asked for help. How many of us like to ask for help? I know that for me, this is a huge obstacle. Whether it be for the sake of pride, or not wanting to bother people, I have a history of not asking for help. My own pride aside, I know that part of my reluctance to ask for help is based on a history of not being able to count on people when I needed them. When you feel abandoned by those you thought would be there, you learn to do for yourself, rather than risk being let down again. Not a healthy way to live by any means. This is something that I have talked to my sponsor about quite a bit, as I know I need to work on it.

Third, Nehemiah didn't quit when people criticized him. The rebuilding process was harsh, and Nehemiah prayed 'Hear us, O God, for we are despised." What a gut-wrenching prayer from a man who was trying so hard to do what needed to be done, in the face of enemies who sought to destroy them. When his enemies told lies to try to get rid of him, he stood firm on his faith, and did not give up. He knew the Lord was on his side. The story of Nehemiah is so inspiring, and was just what I needed to hear today. Nehemiah surrendered all.

Pastor talked about how our own ministry must start the way that Nehemiah's did - with a broken heart. The most important line from today's sermon for me was this: If you can do it with no help, your dream is too small.

My cup runneth over

I am on fire for Jesus! It's been so amazing, since 2008 began I have just felt so motivated to get closer to God, to read His Word, to pray, and hopefully to witness when I have the chance! After all these years Tom and I are praying together! Not every night, but on a regular basis and as needed when things come up. We have the Night Light devotional book for couples and we've been doing that sporatically as well. And, drum roll please... we've started doing family devotions! I had bought a book of them ages ago and I asked the Princess if she'd like to start doing them. She not only wanted to do them, but she got out the Bible and looked up the verses and read them to us. We did it as a family Saturday night and then just she and I this afternoon. I'm incredibly pleased about doing this as a family, and I know that the Man and I praying together will bless our already good marriage. I feel so blessed, so abundantly blessed to have my perfect and precious little family. I can imagine God smiling down on us as we sat together, reading His Word and talking and praying together. I prayed first, then the Princess, and then the Boy and the Man closed. The Boy prayed about getting batteries in his Hess truck and my heart was just full with joy at his innocent little chatter.