Random & Cranky. You've been warned.

Theresa reminded me that I've been silent for nine days here. It's good that she reminds me, because I get myself up in my tree and am too busy festering to come back down.  There's just too much life going on lately. I know I have to accept life on life's terms, but frankly I'm sick of life interfering with my peace & quiet.

No answers on my thyroid yet. The ENT didn't seem to think that my symptoms or test results were any big deal, which ticked me off right off the bat. He said we could repeat the ultrasound in six months. I said, ummm, no. So he said I could get the nuclear medicine study, which I agreed to and just have to call & schedule. The nodule is too small to biopsy, and the questionable tissue on the parathyroid doesn't seem like a big deal. He said that the parathyroid controls your calcium and my calcium levels are fine. So good news, but also doesn't get me the answers I'm looking for, so I'm just feeling frustrated.

E is still having a rough time at school and I'm still talking with the guidance counselor often as she tries to get him to tell her what all is going on with him. We both feel it goes back to his social issues and not having friends at school. He told her that he didn't take his meds today, which was odd since I stood there and watched him take it. So either he was lying to her, or spit it out when I wasn't looking.  She also said that he told her that every day when he wakes up, it's already a 'blah day'. It makes me worried that he's depressed, but I also know that he hates waking up because he doesn't sleep well, and is always so tired.  My focus lately has been on spending one on one time with him, talking with him. We snuggled under a blanket and did his devotional book tonight. He seemed to enjoy it. I've also been playing more games with him lately, to get him to interact with us more. (Farkle is a favorite!)  Tom heard something on the radio recently about a social skills class for kids at a local hospital, so I'm looking into that for E. I also bookmarked some information about cyber schools for him, should it ever come to that. I'm just trying to stockpile ideas and resources, but at the same time I feel like I haven't got a clue how to parent him or help him.

So there it is, cranky that life isn't going the way I want it to. I know I need to get over myself. Tomorrow is another day. It is what it is. You have to have some rain before you get the rainbow. yadda yadda. I get it, I know. I swear I'm trying. I'm just really super good at being cranky.  It's my father's fault really.

OH! But in good news I've lost 21 pounds total and feel like a rock star when I put on jeans in a smaller size. I'm already dreaming of what it will feel like after the next 20 come off. :) I may need a new tattoo to celebrate that day.