Saturday, July 31, 2010

The Great Obsession

"The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker." (page 30, Big Book of AA)
It's Saturday, and we're heading to a barbecue later this afternoon. There will likely be lots of alcohol present, as this is at the house of an 'old' friend from back in the day. We haven't seen them in years, so it will be nice to catch up.
It's a gift for me to be able to attend things like this without fear. I used to live in a state of white-knuckled anxiety when attending events where alcohol was served. And for someone in early recovery, avoiding your old people, places & things is very important. You need to get your head on straight before you can even consider being around old drinking friends again, and even then, you have to be cautious.
These days I'm not afraid of being offered a drink, or of looking out of place while empty-handed. I'm comfortable saying, 'No thanks.' I have an exit plan, I know where my own cup is, I don't drink anything that I myself didn't pour. I don't have to miss out, or live in fear, or dread the inevitable hangover. Life is good.


BeLoVed AiMeE said...


KateO said...

I wondered if that was a fear of yours. So glad you have so many years of sobriety, and are in such a stable place where it is no longer a fear.

Little M said...

Cool. I've been sober almost a year and a half and I agree. Finally, I can attend functions that serve alcohol without anxiety. I feel free.

Theresa said...

This is just wrong in so many ways...the picture!