When I was at my meeting last week I was chatting with a friend afterwards about how we can sometimes have this inexplicable yearning for our previous lives. That the chaos and insanity somehow can still appeal to our now sober minds. I cannot explain save to say that alcoholism is cunning, baffling and powerful, and that ridiculous feelings like that are WHY we need to go to meetings, be in the fellowship, do our step work, and so forth. My friend said she once heard it described as being 'homesick for hell'. I'm sure that none of my 'normie' friends out there will have a clue what I'm talking about, and that's ok. It's part of the mystery of us alcoholics, something quirky and sad that we need to admit to, so it doesn't become bigger than we can handle. I'm sure everyone can relate to having crazy thoughts sometimes!