HE WANDERS!

The Boy had his first field trip recently, to a natural science museum. He was very excited but I was NERVOUS. I didn't have the option of going with him, as the chaperones were pre-selected from the PTO elite, darn them! I kept telling myself that they would have safety measures in place, like name tags and a buddy system and GPS chips - wait, ok maybe not the last thing. But really, if you'll recall the infamous church escape incident, you know that this is not something I am overreacting about. I briefly considered taping a note to his back with his name and my cell number. I also briefly considered writing 'I WANDER' in Sharpie across his forehead. Although this warning doesn't do much good, as in the cases of the aforementioned church escape, and as my mother-in-law can attest, the Great Dutch Wonderland Escape. He's quite stealthy.

When he was two he was playing in our back yard. I went in the house to do something housewifey, and his sister was in school. He must have sensed his moment had arrived, because when I returned to the yard a few minutes later, he was gone. I checked every nook and cranny of that back yard and finally noticed the gate was slightly ajar. And I say 'slightly' because it was, in fact, still CLOSED. And PADLOCKED. He being of skinny bones however, was able to push the gate just far enough open so he could squink his little self through. I don't know why I thought to unlock the gate and go looking, since I really did not believe he could have gotten through. I found him the next street over, trotting down the sidewalk and just beaming. After I recovered from my aneurism I was able to see the humor in the situation, in particular the part where he had not gone into the street and been flattened. Oh how I long for those simpler times, before he could run faster than me, before he learned how to use his father's tools to dismantle his room.

The Boy enjoyed his field trip immeasurably, and the bug exhibit was the highlight for him. I was just relieved to see him get off that bus at the end of the day. I'm still thinking about the Sharpie idea for next year though.