Klepto

We've always had problems with E taking things that don't belong to him. We have a routine of checking his pockets whenever we leave someone's house. We saw a psychologist a while ago who suggested we have a pre-visit routine of reminding E of the importance of not taking things that don't belong to him, and giving him encouragement, etc. It's not as bad as it used to be and I do think he'll continue to outgrow it as he matures. I follow Kirk Martin on Facebook and this recent post spoke to me. (I had the same response as Vickie.)

The ADHD Update

I checked some books out of the library on ADHD recently, and found some good stuff to share. Now of course half the books they have are completely out of date, and some are just ridiculously out of touch with reality. But I found one in an easy-reader style called The ADHD Update by Alvin & Virginia Silverstein & Laura Silverstein Nunn.

Is ADHD Overdiagnosed?
In the United States, ADHD has become so common that many people think the condition is being overdiagnosed. Medical experts disagree. They say that because scientists have learned a lot about ADHD in recent years, doctors are now better able to identify it. While some cases may be misdiagnosed, many cases actually go undiagnosed. People who have ADD - without the hyperactivity - often go unnoticed because they are quietly daydreaming in the classroom.

I've been told that we should modify E's diet in order to 'cure' him or help with symptoms. I respect that certain foods can cause unwanted symptoms in some people, but I grow weary of being told that I should eliminate sugar or food dyes or gluten as a cure for my son's behavior. Another quote from the book gave me backing to what I already knew:

The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) conducted a number of independent studies on the effect of a restricted diet on hyperactivity. In 1982, the NIMH announced that such a diet helped only about 5% of hyperactive children - mostly young children with food allergies.

I find it a bit insulting, like you would tell any other parent of a special needs child that they could fix the problem if only they would stop feeding them such a horrible diet already. Like I'm stuffing him with Slurpees and Pop Rocks all day. Shut up people, and let me parent my own kid.

Great picture here of what it's like to have ADHD:
If you don't have ADHD, try to imagine what it feels like. First, turn on the tv and the radio. Then ask a friend to talk to you. While all this is going on, sit down and try to do your homework. Can you tune out all the distractions and do your homework? Can you talk to your friend without paying attention to the tv or radio? Some people with ADHD have trouble sorting out the many sounds, sights, and thoughts that demand attention. They do not know how to focus on just one thing at at time and tune out the rest. One person with ADHD described how it felt when he tried to do something as simple as read a book: "My thoughts raced round and round in my head. It's like my mind was a pinball machine with five or six balls smashing into each other."

I really appreciated this book, and hope that others might find the above helpful too. We may not have awareness magnets on our cars just yet, but my goal is make people aware of what this disorder is really all about, and how to understand those who have it, rather than judging them.

Whitney Houston

Autopsy Reveals Whitney Houston's Body Ravaged - We all knew, or suspected, that Whitney Houston had been under the influence when she died. I had hope for her during the brief time she had gotten sober and appeared on Oprah looking healthy and finally of sound mind. Reading this report broke my heart a little. It's a grim picture of what addiction does to you.

Sources said the temperature could have been as high as 150F (66C) when she got into the tub. Six hours after her death, the water was still 91F and medical sources said she may have been so high she did not notice how hot her bath was. Traces of cocaine, cannabis, anxiety pill Xanax, muscle relaxant Flexeril, allergy medicine Benadryl and painkiller Ibuprofen were found in her body. The 48-year-old was also scarred by decades of cosmetic surgery, alcohol-fueled fights and falls. She had marks on her stomach, chest and upper left thigh believed to be from cosmetic procedures. A scar on her left forearm may also have been self-inflicted. Houston's lifestyle also had weakened her heart so badly that one of her coronary arteries had narrowed by 60 percent.

She talked & sang about Jesus, and I truly hope that she did know Him, and is at peace now.

Easy to Love

After a particularly rough morning with E, this really lightened my heart when it came up in my Facebook news feed:

The kids had a four day weekend for Easter, and this is always the kiss of death for E. He does not deal with change well, nor does he transition well back into routine. He cried, argued and carried on all morning. He kept asking why he even has to go to school, and then made his case for taking Amy (the hamster) to school with him. He even carried her cage to the door. I had to take her from him and put her back, try not to lose my patience with him and get him even more upset before I had to drop him off. I emailed his teacher and guidance counselor to give them a heads up. No phone calls yet, so I'm praying that his day is going okay.
I had a meeting with our lead pastor this morning and he mentioned the book, Shepherding a Child's Heart. I have a long list of books I want to read, but I may move this one to the front of the list if it seems like it could help E survive to adulthood.

UPDATE: The school never called, and I found myself checking my phone all day to see if I had missed their call. When I picked E up from school he was in a good mood. I asked him how his day was, and he said that it had started out bad, but that he had turned it around. I was so proud of him, that I un-grounded him. I want to reinforce how important it is that you can always start over. This was big for him, and I'm so pleased!

This & That

3 Common Traits of Youth Who Don't Leave the Church - This is something I think about a lot, since I was one of those kids who walked away from the church when I went to college. I appreciate any insight into what keeps kids grounded in their faith when they leave home.

10 Things I Want to Tell Teenage Girls - All very true and funny!

Multiple Forms of ADHD? - "Investigators believe ADHD symptoms may actually represent an entire family of disorders, similar to the classification of various subtypes of cancer."  I don't want to sound rude, but the words, "WELL DUH" came out of my mouth upon reading that. Sorry science guys, no offense meant, but it's just nice to hear that research supports what moms & dads of ADHD kids have already known for years.

This & That

ADHD and ODD: Parenting Your Defiant Child - This is interesting to me, because I occasionally see the ODD behavior in E. It's usually in the evening, when meds are out of his system and he gets really wound up. He isn't hugely defiant, but he will be obnoxious and annoy his siblings on purpose. I don't know that this is real ODD behavior though, because it also seems like normal 10 year old boy stuff.



A Potential Natural Treatment  for Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder:  Evidence From a National  Study - I'm printing this to go in the notebook I keep of E's records and stuff. Tom and I say all the time that we wish we could be raising E in the country. It's an out-of-reach dream, but this piece is encouraging me to find ways to fit it into our suburban life somehow.

Bunny Chow - This stuff is evil. Do not make it. You have been warned.

Gym Soap

Because I am cheap I like to use the showers at my gym after I exercise. I like using someone else's hot water, and given the high price of oil and the small $10 monthly fee I pay for gym membership, I'm pretty sure those showers 3 days a week are more than paying for themselves.

The one problem I've been having is that those poofy scrubs we all use these days don't travel well. I'm so used to using one with a shower gel that going back to a washcloth from my childhood is just weird. I tried the kids' Johnson & Johnson Easy Grip Soap but my skin is too sensitive for it.

So here's my solution; I used the snack bag pattern, cut a washcloth in half, and that's it. I can put in a bar of Dove Sensitive, and fold the flap over to use.  Then later throw the little bag in the laundry with my gym clothes. Very happy with this solution!


{The picture on the left is with a bar in it, and I don't know why it looks crooked, I promise it's not. The one on the right is what it looks like right after you sew it, before you fold it right side out.}

Tenth Birthday

Disclaimer: I'm aware that I probably don't have a Christian attitude about this topic. I don't care. I have had enough of politically correct nonsense.

E turned 10 this week. Are we really more than halfway done raising him? That doesn't seem realistic, ha!

We were told at the beginning of the school year that the 4th grade teachers would like it if we sent in a book for the class library in place of cupcakes or some other birthday treat. The reason given was that they have so many students with food allergies. And the unspoken reason is that you shouldn't exclude anyone in a celebration. They don't want you sending in birthday invitations to the class either, unless every student is being invited.
I love his teachers, but I have a problem with this. First, because I think it's silly and unrealistic to teach children that they won't ever be left out, or that no one is going to hurt their feelings by excluding them. I don't throw a tantrum every time I go to a party or wedding and everyone gets to drink but me. Second, let's call a spade a spade, shall we? My son gets excluded from everything. None of these kids are inviting him to their house or their birthday parties. So I'm not going to feel bad for one minute if one of them doesn't get to eat some of the birthday treats that my son brings to school that day. I sent in cookies with no nuts, but that's as far as I'm going. My son has been bullied and picked on and excluded and I could care less if your kid doesn't get to eat a treat that day.

So all that crankiness aside, here is what E got for his birthday....

That tiny little creature is a dwarf hamster named Amy, and we are all in love! E was sitting on the couch opening his new Lego Ninjago set, and Tom came to him and said to put it down for a second. He did, and then Tom said, "Hold this", and handed him the hamster. He nearly dropped her in surprise, and his reaction was so precious. I asked him what he thought after a minute, and he could barely get out the words, "I love it". (Yes, I cried. Shut up.)

Faces of Addiction

There is an amazing Flickr album by a photographer named Chris Arnade, featuring addicts and alcoholics. The pictures are beautiful and heartbreaking. Each picture has a description underneath of who the person is and a bit of their story.

Faces of Addiction

One of the stories:
"Chris Bishop was drinking in front of a liquor store when we met. A resident in the local homeless shelter he told me the following.

At the age of thirteen, Chris killed his father, stabbing him with a knife after a childhood of abuse. He spent the next eighteen years in correctional facilities. 'When he was drunk and mad he would hold me out the apartment window and threaten to drop me to the street, eight floors below. He beat me and my mother all the time. I have been drinking ever since. To forget.'

When I asked how he wanted to be described, his eyes teared up and he said "I am human, like everyone else."

There are more than fifty others there, and well worth reading and viewing. 

Friday

I don't feel like blogging when I feel like this, but I'm making myself do it anyway because I know it always makes me feel better. I don't have much to say that doesn't involve complaining about crappy neighborhood kids who are mean to my son, or me feeling like dirt because of the stupid thyroid medication. I told Janet that I need a girls' night out pronto.  I have faith that God has His hand in everything. I have faith that He can and will work it for my good and His glory. I do. It just sucks waiting for the good part to arrive, especially when your child is lonely and sad. There is nothing more painful for me, and I fully admit to not handling it well ever.

Tom is going to night shift for a few weeks. Now that busy season is beginning he brought home the work truck again, much to all of our delight. The boys LOVE that giant truck, we save on gas money and I get to drive Tom's new sporty car. Win win!

The weather has been a bit ridiculous lately. Winter got vetoed somehow and we're fast forwarding through spring at an alarming pace. You can expect many grouchy posts if this leads us into an extra-hot summer. We all know how I feel about summer. Speaking of summer, the plans for vacation bible school are rolling. I don't know what I'm doing yet this year, but I do know that now that Janet is co-leading children's ministries, the opportunities to harass and annoy her are endless. It's good to have goals.