We've always had problems with E taking things that don't belong to him. We have a routine of checking his pockets whenever we leave someone's house. We saw a psychologist a while ago who suggested we have a pre-visit routine of reminding E of the importance of not taking things that don't belong to him, and giving him encouragement, etc. It's not as bad as it used to be and I do think he'll continue to outgrow it as he matures. I follow Kirk Martin on Facebook and this recent post spoke to me. (I had the same response as Vickie.)
6 comments:
I think that approach would probably be good for more than just stealing. I know that often James will come to me and 'confess' something he did, because he knows it was wrong,and I don't know what to do. I think I will try to use this with him.
I think he's half right. You can't consequate any behavior without teaching the right behavior. And you can't teach the right behavior without consequating the wrong behavior. Well, maybe you could, but it would be difficult.
Shame may not always be the motivation for lying. Lying often is trying to escape the consequence. That's just my behaviorist point of view.
Yeah I thought that too; we can't skip the consequence all the time, but we learned over the years that most consequences had zero impact on E's behavior. So I don't disagree with you, but with the ADHD kid the punishment never made any difference it seems. It's like he's immune to it, or he doesn't equate it with the action.
I walked this road with Amanda as well. Shay. My prayers are with you to be patient and loving. Every situation is an opportunity to talk about God's grace and mercy.
What about if you check his pockets before you leave? That way, knowing he'll have to face the people he's taking things from may make him think before doing it. He may feel safer once he's out of the house, knowing he'll only be questioned by you. But, having to go through the embarrassment of answering to the person may be a deterrent.
Yep, we do usually check pockets before we leave, but it sometimes get forgotten in the busyness of leaving.
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