I'm quiet this week because I'm waiting for someone I love to die. It's so painful to even type that, let alone think it. Miss Debby has been fighting cancer for a long time, and is now being made comfortable. It could be a few weeks, but they don't know. We went to visit last night. She's out of the ICU, which is good. There's a waiting room adjacent to her room, and it was full of visitors waiting for her to wake. The pain relievers make her drift in and out.
She told a friend that she wanted a 'parade of visitors' so she could say her goodbyes. When she was lucid for a few minutes last night, Tom told her that we were her parade, the line of us around her bed. She said she wanted a real parade, with a firetruck. She asked where the boys were. We didn't bring them because we thought she was still in the ICU, and could only sneak A in there. (age limit is 14 & up, but the nurse said she would look the other way) I want to take them up to see her, but don't know if I have another visit in me today. Maybe tomorrow. I don't know.
Miss Debby is the heart and soul of our old church. You will never meet anyone who is a better listener, with a bigger heart, than Debby. She has run the day care and youth ministries for as long as I've known her, and she loves those kids. And they love her.
I don't know if you should pray for a miracle when someone is this close to death, but I know I want to. I know if it were me, I wouldn't want to be in pain anymore, and the desire to be with Jesus would be overwhelming. I couldn't sleep last night, laying awake thinking of all the memories I have of her. She was my first boss, back when I was a drunk & a horrible employee. She loved me and prayed for me anyway. Years later, she wrote me an amazing letter when I was on the Walk to Emmaus. I tried to read it today and just fell apart over her kind & loving words. Oh God please get us through this. I love her so much.