I had an interesting discussion with my sister Emily recently. We were talking about the emotional toll it takes on us as wives when our husbands are gone for long hours at work. Tom worked 67 hours last week. Add to that his drive time of 45 minutes to an hour depending on if he's at a job site or in the shop, and it's a pretty significant chunk of time.
Emily said that she and her husband once watched an animal show where they separated a female raccoon and her mate in cages. They cried for each other, going completely berserk at being away from each other. After a time, they moved their cages next to each other. They were able to reach through the bars and touch each other, and it immediately calmed them.
Ever since watching that show, Emily & her husband joke with each other about needing raccoon time. And all jokes aside, this makes complete sense to me. When Tom is gone for a really long time, I need to hold him and touch him and reconnect with him.
I don't believe in soulmates. Well, let me amend that. I don't believe in society's definition of soulmates. I don't believe that there is one person that you are destined to be with that you magically find. We make our own choices, and we work to build a marriage. I think you grow into soulmate-dom. (soulmate-hood? whatever) God tells us in the Bible that a man will leave his parents and join with his wife. (Genesis 2:24) That they will become one flesh. I always thought it was a metaphor, or that it meant sex, but recently I've begun to see it differently. I am so connected to Tom that I physically feel out of sorts when I am away from him for too long. I need to be with him because we are one. He really does complete me, and not in a Jerry-Maguire way. In a real, connected to each other & God way, that is the result of time & trials together, not based on fluffy feelings & stars & flowers. When he walks in the door filthy, exhausted & smelling like motor oil, I can't wait to hold that big lug and get me some raccoon love.