Friday, August 20, 2010

My Daughter's Birthday Party

My Princess turned 11 a few weeks ago, and we're finally having her party tonight. Out of the dozen invitations she sent to friends, only 2 can come. I'm so sad for her. She wrote me a note last night saying that she was upset about it, but knows that she will live. I hate that I can't fix this for her. I know the 3 girls will have a fun time and eat lots of junk food and so forth, but I have major mama guilt about giving my child a summer birthday. I have a summer/holiday birthday, so I am all too familiar with what that feels like. I didn't have a friend birthday party until I was 30. And even then, it was really just a summer bbq, with cake thrown in at the end for me.
As I contemplate my dislike of birthday parties in general, I am reminded that it is not my job to keep life from happening to my kids. Parties will flop, boyfriends will break up with you and bees will sting. I can accept all of the ugly stuff in my own life, but in my kids' lives? I want to protect them.
The real irony here is that in my own life, I wouldn't change anything about my own experiences. The most painful events I have lived through have been the ones that shaped me the most, and led me all the nearer to God. Miscarriage, broken friendships, alcoholism.... these things have made me who I am. All the things I would never want for my kids, are the very things that I can honestly say I am thankful to God for allowing to happen to me.
I still wish my daughter could have a dozen friends at her party, and that I could somehow protect her from all of life's hurts. But I know that God will use this day in her life to shape her into the woman He wants her to be.


anyreasonforcake said...

Oh, this struck a chord with me. I have a summer birthday and I well remember having a small turn-out to my parties. I hope your daughter has a wonderful time with the two friends who can make it.

BeLoVed AiMeE said...

see now Beth has a December birthday and she always wishes hers was in the summer. Too close to Christmas so we're always short on fund, plus it's the middle of winter so there's nothing to do and you can't give bikes or roller blades or anything fun!!! Anyhow, I hope A has a great time with her friends that did make it!

Anonymous said...

I googled "turbinectomy" and somehow the internet brought me here.

Sad, why not invite kids from the neighborhood, or co-workers and their kids.

I was born during the holidays, so I know what its like to have nobody around for your birthday. Every single birthday for the past several years I have been alone. :^)

Shay said...

Thanks for the love :)
I suppose this can be filed under the grass is always greener category, lol. The Man did tell her that we could have her party next year just after school lets out, and see if that works better. The hard part is that we didn't know who would be coming until they all RSVPed, and almost no one did, which left us in the lurch. At any rate, she's in the kitchen with them now, eating all kinds of junk food and doing a craft. Thankfully the 1 girl sleeping over is her BFF, so she's happy about that. :)
Anonymous - I'm having that done next month, are you having one done too?

KateO said...

Yes, I invited 5 five year olds for Q's party and one is coming. So sad. I will most likely not attempt to do it near his birthday again.
Oh, and I totally forgot what a turbinectomy was and I thought you were trying to be funny about a turbin removal...but then it struck me, its a sinus thing. LOL. duh.

Nova Kristin said...

I hear ya, Erin's birthday falls on spring break and no one is ever around for her either =(