Sunday, June 10, 2012
I didn't remember to write anything on the calendar for this weekend. I thankfully still made it to some events since someone else remembered them, but it does make me wonder when my brain will return from it's state of distracted oatmeal. I mentioned this to my mentor this morning and she said that I'm still just in the fog. She's definitely right, I just wish I could break out of it. It's been weird for our family how one thing has happened after another the past few months. I will think that life will calm down soon, and surely nothing else is going to happen, and then something else does.
I went to a meeting the other day and my sponsor gave me my 11 year coin. A young man in the program died last week, and many were sharing in the meeting about that. I had thought a meeting would distract me from my grief, but it was all about grief. The good thing is that we can comfort each other, and that the worst days help us to see our best days in a new light. We all cried, but it was a good meeting.
I mentioned a while back that a friend of mine is facing the end of her marriage and that I'm just sick about it for her. The 'friend' is actually my sister. We've been on the phone so much that I actually used up all of my minutes last month which is a LOT of minutes. It's a very surreal time for our family. I love my sister beyond words, and I'm so heartbroken for her. I'm going to visit her next weekend to celebrate her birthday. I told her that not even an apocolypse could keep me from coming this time!
I'm trying to keep busy, as boredom = depression as we know, at least for me, and sitting around being sad isn't going to help me move on. Our school district is on strike though, so there's no routine for the kids to get back to, and there's lots of bickering for me to preside over, blech. We've made two library trips in one week, and I feel a third coming on shortly.
I'm okay. And the parts of me that aren't okay will be soon, or someday. Writing about this helps me to find peace about it, so don't worry that I'm wallowing or anything. I find ways to laugh with my kids, and enjoy the joys of my life, and try to accept all that comes my way. The 'new normal' seems to change pretty frequently around here. The good news though, is that Jesus still loves me. And I'm still sober. And life goes on. I am blessed.