Step 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
I had my speaking commitment at the residential treatment center last Wednesday, and dare I say, it went fabulously! My sponsor is a doll, and gave me a really lovely intro that I was not expecting. There was only eight of us in the meeting, but that was a great help to me in relaxing. Big groups make me nervous, but a small group is just like friends getting together for coffee. I actually managed to say everything that I wanted to share about my experience, strength & hope. I got great responses, and the women really shared their hearts. It was great to hear where these ladies are coming from, and I always love to hear other women talk about their recovery. My sponsor has said before, and said again that night, that she really loves to see women get sober. That there is something very different about women who must attempt this journey, as compared to men. We face different obstacles, and the stereotypes and pre-conceived ideas about how women 'should' be able to do this can be pretty intimidating. Why can't she stop drinking for her kids? Doesn't she know they need her? The Big Book tells us that frothy emotional appeal will not get us, nor keep us, sober. I may want to stay sober for my husband and kids, but they can't keep me from drinking. I have to do the work, ask God for help, work the steps, make amends, go to meetings, take my inventory every day, work with other alcoholics, face my character defects...... When I say it's my job to stay sober, it's because it is a JOB. Sobriety is not something I got and now keep in a jar on my desk. It is a living, breathing part of my soul, and if I do not feed it, it will die. I have a disease that tells me that I don't have a disease, and if I take the risk of complacency, I could very easily fall back into old habits.
I'm really thankful that I could speak at that meeting. I need to be always mindful of where I came from, so that I don't ever go back there.