The Boy is faster than western security

From September 4, 2007

We've missed attending church a lot this summer since we've been away most weekends. We had been wanting to go to church somewhere in the area of the campground but hadn't ever managed to do it. Some of our friends who have sites at the same place recently went to a megachurch nearby and really liked it. The man who owns/runs our campground goes to this church which is how we found it. It's so very different from our church, in good and bad ways.... They had really amazing classrooms for the kids though, and you register the kids at one of the check-in desks. They put you into the computer and print labels that go on each kid, and on you, and you get a pager too. The pager is on each sticker, along with any special instructions. (Yes, I was in OCD heaven, haaa) When I was filling out the paper with the kids' info I wrote under the Boy's special needs 'He wanders'. (My husband laughed, but he KNOWS that this is true and people must be warned!) Well, anything you put in that section goes onto their tag by code, so if they don't have a code for it I guess it doesn't go on the tag. After the service we went to go get the kids, and the Boy met us in the lobby area of the kids classrooms! He looked about ready to cry too, probably since the place is huge and it was crowded. The Man asked him what he was doing and the Boy replied, 'I was looking for mommy!'
I told the Man that I'd better go tell them in his classroom that he had gotten out so they didn't worry when they realized. (They check your stickers when you come for your child, and if you don't have your sticker you don't get your kid!) The main teacher happened to be our campground owner, lol, so I found him right away. I told him that the Boy had met us in the lobby and his eyes popped, lol. I told him that I had put it on the card I filled out, and he said that he would try to get that added into their coding system..... which totally cracked me up! We found out later that they even called a staff meeting afterwards to discuss the failure! I guess I shouldn't laugh, because it was a big deal to them, since they are really very thorough. But the Boy just threw them all for a loop because nothing and no one can keep him in. He's always been an escape artist and a wanderer!

Some things are too fun to give up

Recent conversation between me and my Mom....

Me: I got my cartilege pierced.
Mom: Ohhh....*fake confused mom smile*
Me: The top of my ear....
Mom: I see.
Me: Yeah, I've wanted to do it for a long time. I got the titanium since I'm allergic to nickel.
Mom: That's good.
Me: Mom?
Mom: Yes?
Me: Did you ever think that it would be your little girls who pierced and tattooed themselves, while your son put on a shirt & tie and went to work in an office every day?
Mom: No. No I did not. *laughs*

Gosh it's wrong how much fun it still is to torture her. Guess you never outgrow that. I have a precious memory of when she first saw one of my tattoos. I was putting on my wedding dress and her eyes got big.

Mom: *stares, says nothing*
Me: Mom, it's a tattoo.
Mom: *silence*
Me: Do you want to see the other one?"
Mom: No.
Me: Mom, I'm getting married. Is there anything else you want to know?
Mom: No. *leaves room*

Ahhhh, the memories.....
I did give her three cute grandkids though, so she has to have forgiven me by now.... right?

How to traumatize your child with food in 3 easy steps

Sooo.... menu planning! I have never done this before but finally am going to give it a try. I was flipping through an old issue of Woman's Day magazine and they always give you a menu plan for the whole month. So I started getting some ideas from that, and the internet and we'll see how it goes. I figure this will help me to stay on track with one of my resolutions for 2007, which is to start cooking from recipes on a regular basis. I'm not a bad cook I guess, I just am boring, really - making the same stuff all the time.

I made myself a blank calendar and printed it out and am now writing in some different meals. It's silly, but I have had a box of lasagna noodles in my pantry forever. I have never made lasagna in my life so I don't know what I was thinking when I bought the box. And I'm lactose intolerant, so I can't make it with all the cheese. I looked today though and found a recipe that uses tofu instead of ricotta. I've never cooked with tofu either, but hey, it's a new year and I've gotta start sometime!

The Man made something of a pinched face when I said the word 'tofu', so maybe it would've been smarter to not tell him of this ahead of time. I'm definitely not telling the kids. The Boy is still suffering with his green bean allergy. I have never seen a child work harder to convince me that a quarter inch piece of bean would literally choke him to death - the gagging, the eye-watering, the tears... it's quite a performance, you should come over for the 5pm showing on Tuesday. It's second only to the show that the Princess put on when I informed her that the punishment for fighting with me this morning was to clean both toilets in our house. I'm pretty sure she'll need therapy to recover from that trauma.

Ok, so the Michael Jackson thing....

I have an unhealthy obsession with Michael Jackson. I'm fully aware of this, so don't judge me! I read and watch everything that comes along about him. The Martin Bashir documentary was awesome! I just find him totally fascinating - it must be that whole can't-look-away-from-an-accident phenomenon. What makes a grown man live like this? The whole Neverland thing I can kinda get, since he felt he was denied his own childhood because of the career, blah blah blah.... but what is up with the surgeries?
I found a web site that shows what he would look like now if he had never had any work done. It's... well it's.... ok, so it's beyond words. Just go look here.
I wonder if his hair is a wig. It's so shiny and bouncy! And the voice. I wish I could hear his real voice. I bet it's freaky to hear a normal man's voice coming out of that woman-child looking face.
I really enjoyed his trial, seeing what he would wear every day. I especially enjoyed the pajama day. Or as Ethan calls them 'majamas'. I have one of those days myself now and then. It's one of those stay-at-home-mom perks.
So the surgeries.... It's kind of like watching my kids with Play-Doh. What will he look like next? If you go here you can see a timeline with pictures of what he had done and when over the years. If he has much more done, I think his nose will just cave in. (fyi, there's some language on that last link)
I can't really defend myself but there are certainly worse habits that I could be indulging in.

My daughter's first piercing

I took the Princess to get her ears pierced a few days ago. That was fun. And by fun I mean it was utter torture. She had earned all the required stickers to prove to us that she was old enough and responsible enough to get them done. We had talked about how it would hurt, how she would have to take care of them, and so forth. I figured we were pretty well organized and adult about this. What I did not plan on was that there would only be one employee handy to handle sticking sharp things into my daughter's ears ONE AT A TIME. To this end, there was 45 minutes between the piercing of the first ear and the piercing of the second ear. 45 minutes of her crying, and me cajoling. She knew she was stuck, as she could either get the second one done, or I would take the first one out. Neither option appealed to her of course. I'm proud of her, because she finally did suck it up and make herself be brave enough to do the second one.
She sure looks pretty with her sparkly ears!

Good Morning

It's always nice to have a decent night's sleep, wake up feeling good, roll over.... and hear the sound of your children riding their bikes out front! Even better is when you go outside to explain to them why it's NOT OKAY to leave the house in the morning without waking mommy up, and you discover that your daughter is wearing a super short pink satin hoochie dress-up skirt paired with a velvet bodysuit and heels, and your son is wearing his sister's sweater and his underwear and that's it.
These are the days when I resent having to switch to decaf!!!