Sunday, November 20, 2011
When I was a kid I was not the graceful swan you know today. No really, I was a dork, it's true. So I can look back now and see how it made sense that I didn't fit in with the other kids. That said, it still sucks to get picked on and back at that tender age, I took what was said to me to heart.
I was sitting in lunch one day in fourth grade and two boys sang to me. They sang the tune of "Pretty Woman" but changed it to "Ugly Woman" and modified the lyrics from there. It hurt, certainly, but what was most difficult was continuing to go to school with the one boy for the rest of elementary, junior high & senior high. He never said anything else to me, but every time I saw him I would think of that taunting song.
Fast forward 25 years. We went to our favorite diner for lunch after church today, and the serenader was there with his family. As I enjoyed lunch with my husband and kids, I reflected on this boy turned man, with his own children climbing on his lap. If a boy treats his little girl the way that he treated me, I wonder how he will feel? Conversely, of course, is the possibility that he is raising his daughter to be a turd just like he was, and she'll be the one doing the tormenting. I'd like to believe that fatherhood has made him into a better person, although I doubt it.
What I found really satisfying was that I could look at this man and not remember at all why his words ever caused me hurt. The guy's a tool and always was, and I could care less what he ever thought of me. I have the perspective that comes with time, and what a blessing it is to be free.