Wednesday, March 24, 2010

I know I know

It's been forever since I posted, I know. My schedule has been very inconvenient to my desire to write lately. And those pesky kids always want fed, THREE times a day, the nerve! I also just really haven't had anything profound to say, I'm just living life on life's terms, trying to fit in 30 hours of life in a 24 hour day. I'm also finally making progress on potty-training the Tyrant, and really, that just takes up your entire day. If you don't have kids, you won't believe me, but other parents will agree with me on this one.
Spring is here, so I'm mourning the loss of winter. I'm already missing the heavy sweaters and crisp snowy air. Sigh. I will content myself with the joy of sitting on the swing in the backyard for my prayer time, and watching my skin freckle.
God has been changing me in some neat ways the last few months. Years ago I heard Joyce Meyer say that "Wisdom is doing now, that which will satisfy me later." I have been reminding myself of this every time I choose to go to bed at a decent hour, or take daily time to pray and study the Bible, or get up early to exercise. None of these things come naturally to me, but God has been helping me to change into a person who does them.
In other news, the Princess is having a very busy week. On Monday night she sang in the chorus for the District Music Festival, something she had been preparing for for several months. She did a beautiful job, and we were so proud as we sat in the audience. On Thursday she will be at Reading Olympics, another honor that does us proud. Her soccer season (and the Boy's) also starts this week, and let's throw in a dermatology appointment and a trip to the orthodontist to get her bottom braces on, shall we? Poor kid, her calendar is starting to look like mine.
The Man and I have been at the new church for nearly 18 months, which is hard to believe already. I'm still dealing with emotions towards our old church, and working through them. I keep thinking that I need to let that go, but things fester for some reason. We'll be back there later this week for a funeral, and as much as I want to attend the service, I kind of dread drawing any attention to ourselves since we have been gone so long. People seemed somewhat supportive in the beginning, but these days if I post anything on Facebook talking about church events, or something I'm excited about, none of the folks from my old church respond. I find myself getting annoyed, can't they just be happy for us?
I can't control what other people think, and really, what they think is none of my business anyway. I know that, and on a certain level, I accept that. I wish it didn't bother me, or annoy me, to be more specific. I think that's why I find myself going around with things in my mind over and over, because I have resentments left over from our time there. I hear rumors of things going on there now, and I admit that I think, 'See? This is WHY we left!"
I know that's not fair. We stayed there for a long time when we had a choice to leave. I feel good about when we left, because we waited until God made it clear that it was time to move on. I don't need to have some chip on my shoulder about it, and I frequently am pushing said chip off, only to find it creeping up again later. Anger is one of my worst trigger emotions, and something I struggle with all the time. I know I need to let things go, if only for my own mental health.

Going to go out into the sunshine now, and enjoy the spring breeze...
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BeLoVed AiMeE said...

life sounds full and good.
remember bot to get too busy can easily turn into "being under satan's yoke'.
ugh churches can be so frustrating..when it becomes more about a body of people in one place than a family of Christ it's sad. I pray your visit there will be a surprising blessing and that God will use you while you're there.

Theresa said...

I struggled to find your blog address. I looked on FB and couldn't find it. Then I started scrolling through my posts looking for a comment that you made. I am glad I was persistent because I needed to hear a lot of these words tonight...not on March 24th when you wrote this.
sigh. Thanks!