maybe

From time to time I think about resurrecting the blog. This is about as far as I get and then I bail. Maybe I should just start.

I'm out of school right now. It was a very hard decision but I think I just need to get E through middle school and then revisit the idea. My grades are still really good but this past school year was just too much and I felt hysterical way too often. Plus I really couldn't wait to write that student loan check every month, and why deny myself that pleasure?

So when we last left off, life was hard and I was sad and please Jesus just come back and get us already. I still feel that way about many things. I've always been a cynic but I feel like a much darker and twistier person in the last two years. Still working on that. I've found myself walking more and more with Jesus every day though, something that brings me joy. That time with Him is sometimes awesome and sometimes convicting and sometimes boring, but I'm trying. I love keeping a prayer journal and writing down verses that comfort or or doodling little colorful pictures that amuse me. I like talking to God this way. (I started a Pinterest board for inspiration.)

The holidays are over and we're on the last few days of winter break. I'm ready to get back into the routine and madness. I had the flu for Christmas so I wasn't exactly in one-horse-open-sleigh mode this year. I already put most of the decorations away. Time to start focusing on 2015?? Is it seriously 2015? My daughter turns 16 this year. My son will become a teenager this year. Maybe now is not the time to start blogging again....

Black Friday

The One With Good Intentions

I decided to start 2011 off on the right foot and went to a meeting this morning. You'll recall that I have been slacking in meeting attendance since I gave up my home group, and there's nothing like New Years to motivate you to temporarily do the right thing. I've gone to this particular meeting many times, but never felt like it could be my home group because it wasn't exactly like my old home group. Which is a pretty lame excuse, right? It's amazing how often I need to get the heck over myself.

Anyhoo, the meeting was really good. It was a bit like the gym after Near Year's.  Lots of new faces, all with good intentions. I'd love to see them all again next week, but I know many will lose interest. I'm determined to keep with the Saturday meeting.  I figure it can be my temporary home group until I find my 'real' one. (Said with full knowledge that it will likely become my real group, because I will never get around to following through on a thorough new home group meeting search.) (I know. I'm ridiculous.) (What's with all the parenthesis?) I chatted with a guy after the meeting and made a point to say, "See you next week." More for me, than for him, because I need to get myself there.

So we rang in the new year with friends last night, and toasted with sparkling cider at midnight. We joked this morning in the meeting about Amateur Night. None of us ever needed a holiday as an excuse to drink.  Every night was New Year's for all we knew. A holiday wasn't any different than a Tuesday.

I have a food hangover today (I was powerless over the chocolate covered bacon that Tom made for the party), but otherwise am excited that it's a new year.  I love a new fresh start. Happy New Year ya'll. :)

Winter Wonderland

We're on day two of being snowed in, and so far haven't killed one another.  It helps that the kids have all new toys and Wii games to amuse themselves with.  I'm hoping to go sledding later today.  I don't know the exact amount of snow, but Tom is guessing 8-10".  It's really windy so it's hard to measure with any accuracy.

It's a perfect day to snuggle up with a good book.  I'm trying to finally finish The Lord of The Rings.  I'm nearly done The Two Towers and hope to start The Return of the King later today.  It's all in one volume, which is nice.  It's my mother's copy, and I've had it for two years, so I'm thinking now's a good time to finish it and give it back already.

We had a lovely Christmas with both sides of our family. My husband surprised me with the Carole King & James Taylor cd & dvd. (Live at the Troubador)  He bought me a new laptop a few months ago so I wasn't expecting anything else. We put it on to play immediately and even took it with us to my parents' house to listen to over brunch. They just don't make music like that anymore.

My parents knocked my socks off with their gifts.  My father always asks for a list, in detail, of what we want.  He wants to give us something good without guessing.  So I had asked for a Coleman hiking hydration pack. I could not be more excited to try this thing out soon! It's lightweight and very slim, just enough room for keys, phone, camera and a map, along with a water bladder you fill and drink from a tube. I may need to find somewhere to hike this week in the snow.  But that turned out to be my little gift, as they presented me with a little jewelry box.  They gave me the most amazing tanzanite and silver ring. I think I may have cried, I was so stunned.  It turns out that they also gave the exact same ring to my sister when she was visiting for Thanksgiving.  She nearly bit through her tongue keeping it a secret from me.  I can't stop staring at this sparkly thing on my finger!  I haven't been able to wear my diamond since the Frodo Incident, as the scar has made my finger too thick to wear it. This one fits the ring finger of my other hand perfectly.

Tom and the kids are off all this week, and then he has next week off as well.  We have some fun things planned, but for now are content to stay indoors out of the driving wind.

Merry Christmas

The greatest man in history, named Jesus, had no servants..... yet they called Him Master.
He had no degree..... yet they called Him Teacher.
He had no medicines.... yet they called Him Healer.
He had no army..... yet kings feared Him.
He won no military battles..... yet He conquered the world.
He committed no crime..... yet they crucified Him.
He was buried in a tomb..... yet He lives today.

Merry Christmas ♥

Remembering Kilian

Seven years ago today my friend Jessie gave birth to a sweet baby boy. Kilian Richard was beautiful and precious. He was welcomed by three older siblings who were so excited to meet him.  At first, everything seemed perfect. But he quickly became ill, suffering from a Urea Cycle Disorder. Kilian was taken off of life support on Christmas Day. There are no words for how my heart grieved for Jessie and her family.

Seven years later, I pray that God would give this family comfort and peace. Some of us are planning to change our profile pictures on Christmas Day to one of Kilian. We want Jessie to know that we have not forgotten her son.

If you know someone who has lost a child, don't be afraid to bring it up.  Say something.  Let them know that you remember. Too many people think they are doing their friend a favor by keeping silent.  All that does is isolate them. You don't need eloquent words.  Just let them know that you remember. ♥

Chreasters

{I was editing the blog and found some old posts that never made it out of draft.  So this was originally something I wrote last April. And yes, it has my old signature at the bottom, lol. I'm too lazy to edit the html to update it.}

A friend of mine had this to say on her Facebook status yesterday...

....thinks that those who are upset because all of the "holiday" people come to church on Easter should go to their own church and name it "The Church of Our Lady of Perpetual Salvation that we aren't gonna share with you because we are so much better than you".... hmmm, doesn't sound very Christian, does it? (you might wanna check in with the Risen Lord on that one)

Now, I am the first to admit that I have crabbed a time or two when visitors have made their annual pilgrimage into my holy land. I get it, I do. You go to church every Sunday to worship, you're there for Bible study and for social events. You volunteer to help in the nursery, and on various committees. You put in all of this time and love and effort and suddenly, twice a year, these very loud people come in with their noisy children and their cell phones that they forgot to put on vibrate, and they sit in the place where you always sit. They don't know the songs and they don't know the rules. It's quite like an Invasion. Dent Dent Dennnnn.

But this, Sally Super Christian, is where you need to shut up and get over yourself. These people aren't any more undeserving of God's mercy and grace than you are. None of us in the church have arrived, and we certainly don't need to think any less of those who only show up twice a year.

Think about this opportunity. All year long, we witness to our friends and loved ones, hoping to share Jesus with them. We send shoeboxes overseas with messages of God's love. We feed families at our church partner in the inner-city at an Italian dinner once a month. We go here and we go there, in our little efforts to spread the Gospel. But a few times a year, they come to us. Think about that. They come to our door, and maybe it is out of a feeling of guilt or obligation, but so what? Do we not have enough of His love to share?

There are so many lost and hurting people in this world. When I think about the worst days of my life, and how Jesus rescued me from them, my heart aches for those who don't know Him. I can't imagine facing life without the knowledge of His saving grace.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is over, let the Christmas chaos begin!  The first thing I am thankful for this year is that I'm already done with Christmas shopping, moo-ha-ha!  All I have to do is wrap & bake, yay me. :)  Christmas cards are already printed & picked up, and I'll stamp & address those later this week. I'm ridiculously pleased with myself to be this far ahead of the game, and knowing that I won't have to face any holiday crowds is one sweet reward.
We saw both sides of our family for Thanksgiving, so we ate twice as much. It was nice, but my scale hates me.

For the month of November I posted something I was thankful for on Facebook every day.  I thought I would share my list here for my non-Facebook peeps.

Day 1 -  is joining Pam in the Thankful Posts for November. :) I'm thankful for Jesus, without whom I would be lost forever.

Day 2 - November 2nd - Month of Thankfulness..... have to go with the obvious one, lol..... I'm thankful for the right to vote! :)

Day 2 - is thankful for all of our troops. May God bless you & keep you ♥

Day 3 of Thankful Posts - she beat me to it, but I am so thankful for Keri! So glad to have a good friend to walk and laugh with every day!

Day 4 of Thankful Posts: I'm so thankful for my Bible study! It's a great group of ladies and we have learned so much together.

Day 5 - I'm so thankful for MOPS! I have met some of my best friends there, and had my sanity saved multiple times there. I'm off to babysit at LPC's MOPS this morning :)

Day 6 of Thankful Posts - I am really thankful that the soccer season is ending! Taking Ethan to his final game in the morning. Not sure if I'll be back in time to make it to Barb's service, but I'll be thinking of & praying for her family ♥

Day 7 - I'm thankful for my church!

Day 8 - I am so thankful for my prayer partner Anne. It's such a blessing to spend time with a friend in prayer & conversation.

Day 9 - I am so thankful for friends who pray! ♥

Day 10 - I'm so thankful for Tyler's preschool teachers. He's entered a *ahem* delightful phase of defiance and they are so patient with him!

Day 11 - ★★ "When our perils are past, shall our gratitude sleep?" ~ George Canning So so thankful for all of our men & women who have served in the armed forces. ★★

Day 12 - In honor of To Write Love On Her Arms Day, I'm thankful for the family & friends who supported & loved me when I needed it most. Depression can be a silent killer, but there is hope! ♥

Day 13 - I'm thankful for all the sales & deals that retailers are coming up with! Funny to see Doorbuster deals this early!

Day 14 - I'm thankful that we can get out & enjoy this beautiful weather today. Heading to Churchville shortly :)

Day 15 - is thankful for an amazing husband! He did most of the work tonight in making two pans of chicken parm casserole and two pies! Love you baby!

Day 16 - I'm thankful for the chance to watch Keri's kids; they are hilarious and I love hanging out with them!

Day 17 - I'm so thankful for Ethan's teachers! I got to observe his class today and they are just wonderful. His whole team has done so much for him. ♥

Day 18 - I'm thankful for my sister who is my friend, and my friends who are my sisters! Love you Emily! ♥

Day 19 - I'm thankful for Facebook, reconnecting me with many old friends :)

(I missed Day 20 because Tom and I were in Maryland seeing Steven Curtis Chapman!)

Day 21 - thankful for real cheesesteaks on South Street, mmmm

Day 22 - I'm thankful that the kids have some time off this week. Looking forward to playing games & baking cookies together :)

Day 23 - I'm thankful for our cozy wood stove on chilly days.... but also thankful that it's 60° and I don't have to keep a fire going all day today, lol.

Day 24 - I'm thankful for lazy & fun days with my kids! Still in our PJs now and making plans for baking cookies & homemade pop-tarts this afternoon.

Day 25 - Now more than ever, I am thankful for recovery. Without it, I wouldn't have any of the other things that I am thankful for. I'm so thankful for Dr. Bob & Bill, who paved the way to sobriety for us. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Day 26 - I'm thankful that we can get together with both sides of our family this week to give thanks to God. Can't wait to see my little sister!

Day 27 -  I'm thankful for my in-laws.  I know there are many who have difficult or strained relationships with their in-laws, so I really appreciate the good relationship I have with mine. They are wonderful people! ♥

Day 28 - I'm thankful that in spite of all the changes in the past few years, we can still remain close to some really amazing people. We may have set out in different directions, but God has kept us together. ♥

Day 29 - I'm thankful for 16 years today with the love of my life! (dating anniversary)

Day 30, the final day in a month of thankfulness.... I am thankful for my children, in heaven & on earth; I love you. You are amazing & beautiful, and I am so blessed to be your mom. ♥

Martin Luther King, Jr.

I think every American should watch this video, and today is the perfect day to do so. Martin Luther King, Jr. was an incredible man, and what an amazing legacy he left behind. I find it impossible to watch this speech without crying tears of sorrow and of joy at all that it represents. I see the people in the crowd, full of such hope & pain, and wonder if they could possibly comprehend what that speech would mean to future generations.

Operation Christmas Child

My church is a regional collection center for shoeboxes for Operation Christmas Child. If you've never been involved with this before, make sure you do it next year! It's such a great ministry. Thousands of boxes came through our church during the past week, and they are all being shipped to Charlotte to be checked before going overseas. I don't know the final numbers, but over 7,000 boxes came through our doors this week! So many kids will be blessed with a box full of toys, candy, school supplies and the love of Jesus - what a great way to say Merry Christmas.

Celebrating Resurrection Day

Oh prepare my dears, I was in a funk today. Feel free to stop reading now before I ruin your good mood.

The day started with a night of not-so-great-sleep for our household, with a fretful babe who had to cry it out, and a husband throwing up. I got the better end of the deal with the beginning of a head cold that has left me foggy and raw. My poor Man however, stayed pretty green for most of the day, so the Easter celebrations went on without him. The Princess & the Boy were up at 5am (according to the very sick Man) and came to ask me if they could look for eggs at 7am. And bad mother that I am today, I told them to go for it and put my pillow over my head and went back to sleep. I did finally pry myself loose though, and got up and even fed them, though I'm certain they were quite stuffed with chocolate by then. I took the kids and went to church, wanting to get there early to get seats before all the Chreasters take them. And yes, I called them Chreasters, and yes I am aware that it's rude and disrespectful and clearly I need to work on my attitude to the poor souls who only come to church on Christmas & Easter. But having to sit next to a teenage girl who huffed and sighed and snapped her gum and flipped her hair on me through the entire 60 minutes grated on my ever lovin' last nerve.

I so wanted to enjoy the service this morning, and celebrate the resurrection of my Savior. I had quite the internal dialogue going for most of the morning, wanting to rejoice, but wanting to stew, and confessing and repenting of my grumpy attitude at least 17 times. I knew I was being childish and I'm sorry for it. I just need to get over it, I know! I just was bummed that the Man was sick and I felt like crap. And I realized at one point that I had not had ANY coffee this morning and that I had set myself up for disaster! I won't make that mistake again! The music was very lovely, with the children's choirs, senior choir and signing choir all performing their pieces. The Hallelujah Chorus always makes me tear up, as did the final hymn, 'Because He Lives'. When we sing that final line about one day crossing the river and meeting Jesus.... well, I just about can't stand that we have to wait a lifetime to do it. How blessed we are in Him.

The second half of the day was (yet another) egg hunt and then dinner with the Man's family. I was sad he couldn't come with us, but I did pack up a HUGE plate of food to bring home to him. Hopefully he can eat it tomorrow once he stops praying for death. I enjoy visiting with my in-laws and the cousins had a fine time tearing around the house together and bowling on the Wii. The Barnacle really liked the hors d'oeuvres, daintily sampling each one and then carefully placing the warm and chewed food back in the dish. He is simply beyond charming no matter what he does really.

Rejoice! He is risen!

A Very Pink Valentine's Day

I really need to get new batteries in my little voice recorder thinger, because I was thinking of thee funniest and witty things to write while I was driving today, and now they have all fled the premises of my wee brain.

I took the Boy to the doctor the other day because his eyes were all red and itchy. He's on drops which are way fun to apply. He's nearly 6 though, so he tolerates this much better than the Barnacle does. His eyes are already clear however, so we think it's just an allergic reaction to too much time around a friend's dog over the weekend. The Barnacle however, woke this morning with nasty green crusty eyes, so I took him in. (I think we're headed for a new record in co-pays this week, as I also have a sinus plague.) Anyhow, the Barnacle has the dreaded pink eye, and he does not handle the drops anywhere near as well as the Boy does. He's quite offended with me now, and is harumphing around the living room with blankey and binky to console himself. (I wonder why blankey gets an 'e' but binky doesn't.)

So it's Single Awareness Day, errr, Valentine's Day, and the Princess woke me with candy and cards this morning. I'm happy to confirm that chocolate and toffee were made for each other. The Man left me a box of chocolate and a very sweet card that made me all weepy. How did I get so blessed?

Happy Birthday Jesus!

Well, it isn't your birthday really, but since we don't have an exact date, 12/25 will do nicely. Today was a long and beautiful day, and I'm not sure why I'm still awake, other than trying to think of something bloggy. Lots of splenda gifts were exchanged today, including a coffee grinder to me from the hubs, bless him. I really want to try it out, and am refraining from grinding the only beans I have, which are pinto and would make terrible coffee. *note to self*- coffee bean shopping trip tomorrow!

My folks gave me an old copy of Little Women, a book I've been thinking would be nice for the Princess and I to read together. They also gave us a deep fryer. We'll be taking it out for it's maiden voyage for Little Christmas next month, when we make the whiting.

A beautiful day, all in all. Celebrating the birth of our Savior becomes more meaningful to me every year. I could barely contain my tears of joy at the 11pm service last night. The glowing candles, the thick greenery, the choir in their satiny robes, all of us singing of our joy for Him. How blessed we are.