Eminem

Way to go Marshall.  I don't know how much time he has now, but Eminem is showing that you can get clean & sober in Hollywood.  I hope Charlie Sheen follows his example.

Eminem Wore A Sobriety Necklace To The Grammys

Grief

My daughter's sobs woke me this morning. She got the message before I did. Debby has passed on. At 2 o'clock this morning, she left this life, and is now with Jesus. So happy for her. So heartbroken for us. She was one of the most amazing people I have ever known.

We are blessed that we do not mourn without hope. We are comforted in the knowledge that Debby is walking, pain-free, in Heaven right now. What a blessing! How blessed we are to know His comfort.

Miss Debby

I'm quiet this week because I'm waiting for someone I love to die. It's so painful to even type that, let alone think it. Miss Debby has been fighting cancer for a long time, and is now being made comfortable. It could be a few weeks, but they don't know. We went to visit last night. She's out of the ICU, which is good.  There's a waiting room adjacent to her room, and it was full of visitors waiting for her to wake. The pain relievers make her drift in and out.
She told a friend that she wanted a 'parade of visitors' so she could say her goodbyes. When she was lucid for a few minutes last night, Tom told her that we were her parade, the line of us around her bed. She said she wanted a real parade, with a firetruck. She asked where the boys were. We didn't bring them because we thought she was still in the ICU, and could only sneak A in there. (age limit is 14 & up, but the nurse said she would look the other way) I want to take them up to see her, but don't know if I have another visit in me today. Maybe tomorrow. I don't know.
Miss Debby is the heart and soul of our old church. You will never meet anyone who is a better listener, with a bigger heart, than Debby. She has run the day care and youth ministries for as long as I've known her, and she loves those kids. And they love her.
I don't know if you should pray for a miracle when someone is this close to death, but I know I want to. I know if it were me, I wouldn't want to be in pain anymore, and the desire to be with Jesus would be overwhelming. I couldn't sleep last night, laying awake thinking of all the memories I have of her. She was my first boss, back when I was a drunk & a horrible employee.  She loved me and prayed for me anyway. Years later, she wrote me an amazing letter when I was on the Walk to Emmaus. I tried to read it today and just fell apart over her kind & loving words. Oh God please get us through this. I love her so much.

Hooray for Shay!

There aren't a lot of Shay's out there, so anytime I come across someone with my name, I get a little giddy.  Unfortunately, most of the Shay's seem to have daddy issues, because they're either porn stars or felons. I can't link you to them because, well, they're porn stars or felons.  I did an image search for my name on Photobucket, and here are some examples of what I found:

Ok, so the first several dozen images I won't share here. Nothing actually rated X, but just lots of cleavage & booty.

I loved finding this, because Shay-Bay was my sister's childhood nickname for me:

I admit to watching & loving this show:

Seriously people, learn how to use a mirror to take your picture correctly already. Your camera should not be in the picture. And this poor girl in the first one, I don't know what that expression is supposed to mean. Did her piercing get caught in her teeth or something??

I like these girls! Cute & sassy, well done.

This one, not so much. What the heck is happening here??

I don't understand this. Why would you doll yourself up, look so cute, only to stand in front of your toilet for the picture?

I enjoyed watching Shay Sorrells on the Biggest Loser last year, but reality show contestants are pretty common.

So after all this, I was very happy to run across Shay Doron: "Shay Doron, the two-time Academic All-American who was selected by the New York Liberty in the 2007 WNBA Draft, finished her four-year career at the University of Maryland ranked second in career scoring (1,878), trailing only all-time great Vicky Bullett." Shay now plays for the Israeli National Team.

Thanks for redeeming our name Shay!

Then & Now

Just thought it would be fun to compare pictures of Tom and I from when we started dating to now.

I know, we're pretty adorable. Together for over 16 years, married for almost 14. :)

Acceptance

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Your will, not mine, be done.

I have prayed that prayer countless times. It has been a great comfort & help to me many times. This morning, in fact, I really needed to focus on the acceptance part of it.  E was asleep in bed last night around 11pm when I checked on the kids, but at some point he got up. I found him asleep on the couch this morning, covered in Frosted Flakes crumbs and a Wii remote on the floor. We had set up our computer with a password so he couldn't get on there at night anymore, since he would stay up literally all night on it. Apparently we need to hide the Wii remotes now too.
I woke him and sent him upstairs to turn off his alarm clock, and get dressed. He of course simply went back to bed. The normal drama ensued, and by 9am, when I needed to take him to school, he was nowhere near ready. He has to have a meal before his meds, or his stomach will be upset. The Old Me would have freaked out because it was simply unacceptable that he be late. The New Me accepted that he had to eat, had to be medicated, and would just have to be late. Not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but a big deal for my OCD brain to accept. Being late is one of my biggest pet peeves.
I emailed his teacher to give her a heads-up, and took him in a half hour late. If I am rigid I will never survive mothering this child. I have to accept that things are sometimes messy and he will go to school late. It is what it is.

{this moment}

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. Inspired by SouleMama.

This & That

Get the Facts or Shut Up - I could not agree more with this blogger's post about misconceptions about kids with ADHD.  I loved reading this! It really touched my heart. E is an amazing and brilliant child, and I wish everyone could see that.

Corey Haim's Mother tells GMA about his life and death - Corey Haim died a year ago from pneumonia, most likely related to his drug addiction that compromised his immune system. Another Hollywood star lost to addiction.

Couple's Retreat

Tom and I had a lovely time away at Sandy Cove Ministries on the Chesapeake Bay. We went with a group of about 20 couples to hear Bill & Pam Farrel speak. It was inspiring and fun, but most of all, it was RELAXING. I felt so calm and peaceful the whole time, more than I have in a very long time. We needed that time away together.
Of course, coming back to reality is hard after a retreat, and I feel like I am more scattered than ever. I can't seem to be consistent with the good things in my life. I know I will have a better day if I pray every morning, but I get rushed and forget, and hours later I'm elbow deep in life drama, and getting nothing done. I hate that I need some kind of crisis to remind me. I need routine to make a new habit, and my life doesn't have a ton of that. I really don't want to go back to office work, but having no forced structure on many of my days isn't doing me any good. I did apply for a job last year but knew I was totally under-qualified for it, so it was no surprise that I didn't get a call. Ideally I'd love to make writing my career, but I am doubting more and more my ability to keep myself on task and disciplined. Anyone want to come over every day and order me around? I need a boss....
So enough of my rambly stream of consciousness, and on to some pictures from the retreat....

Tom and I were able to head down early, since he had taken Friday off. I packed a lunch, and we ate in between puttering in the town's antique stores. I found some new kitchen treasures, and had a great day with my husband. It was the perfect way to begin the retreat together. The time at Sandy Cove was priceless, and we really felt spoiled. It was hard to come home and realize that no one was going to serve me coffee and cheesecake after dinner!

Alcohol Kills

Alcohol kills more than AIDS, TB or Violence

"Approximately 2.5 million people die each year from alcohol related causes, the WHO said in its 'Global Status Report on Alcohol and Health.'"


Numbers like this, combined with my personal history, are why I talk to my kids about alcohol. I haven't shared a lot of details yet, but just some basics about why I go to meetings, and why it's important to wait until you are 21 to try it. My parents are awesome, and I adore them, but they never talked to me about alcohol. The first time I got caught drinking in my teens, my father said to me that he had always worried about my brother, but never thought to worry about me. (Since it was the men in his family that all had drinking problems, his father & uncles included.) But that was literally all he said. He's a recovering alcoholic, but didn't talk to me about it. I don't judge him or my mom for it; they were raised very differently, and just didn't talk about certain things. It is what it is. But I also don't want to leave my kids in the dark about why it's important to stay away from alcohol in their youth, and to be smart about it when they are adults. I pray that none of my kids will have the disease that I have. But I'm well aware that statistically there is a good chance that one of them will struggle. And there are other statistics that say that E will struggle with it, being a person with ADHD. I can't control what my kids choose to do, but I will do everything I can to educate them ahead of time, and try my best to guide them now while I can.
I can honestly say that I have never had a hard time talking to my kids about tough subjects. I'm not a nervous person by nature, so it's a God-thing for sure, and not anything I've worked at. I hear people say how nervous they were to discuss the birds & the bees. I do think it's a mistake to reserve a topic of magnitude for a one-time-only discussion or lecture. I have used a hundred teachable moments with A to prepare her for the changes her body will go through soon. We read Christian books on human sexuality & puberty, and she has always known that it was safe to ask me questions about anything.
I've taken my kids to AA meetings and have not hid this part of my life from them. E and TC are too young to understand, but A knows and we've talked about it. At 11 years old she is too young to understand all of the ramifications of her mother being an alcoholic. But I do know that someday, when she is grown, she will truly get it, and will be thankful that her mom was sober. I'm so grateful that I can stay sober for my kids, and be the mom that they need.
Don't avoid the hard subjects with your kids. I know it can be intimidating, but you'll be so glad later that you were the first voice they listened to about it.